A little Extra – July 2015

An inclusive Christian community in Auckland, New Zealand

A little Extra – July 2015

The VALUE OF GOING TO CHURCH If you’re spiritually alive, you’re going to love this! If you’re spiritually dead, you won’t want to read it. If you’re spiritually curious, there is still hope!

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. I’ve gone for 30 years now,’ he wrote, ‘and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons, but for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them so, I think I’m wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all.’

This started a real controversy in the ‘Letters to the Editor’ column. Much to the delight of the editor, it went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

‘I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this… They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!’ When you are DOWN to nothing….God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment! B. I. B. L E. BIBLE simply means: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth! Did you know that?. . When you carry “the Bible” Satan has a head ache; When you open it, he collapses; When he sees you reading it he loses his strength, AND When you stand on the Word of God, Satan can’t hurt you! When you are about to forward this to others, the devil will discourage you!

In God we Trust.

 

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You gotta love compassionate Christian Seniors.

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder.

She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: ‘Stop! Acts 2:38!’

(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks.

The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar:

‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.’ ‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘She said she had an Ax and Two 38’s!’

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Three Little Boys were concerned because

they couldn’t get anyone to play with them.

 

They decided it was because they had not been

baptized and didn’t go to Sunday school.

So they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.

 

One little boy said, “We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?” 

“Sure,” said the janitor.

He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.

Then he said,

“You are now baptized!” 

When they got outside, one of them asked,

“‘What religion do you think we are?

The oldest one said, “We’re not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you.”

“We’re not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water.”

“We’re not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you.”

The littlest one said, “Didn’t you smell that water?”

They all joined in asking, “Yeah! What do you think that means?”

“I think it means we’re Pissbitarian !”